Recipe for cannibalism and rampant sex

There once was a ghost name of Marley
Who tormented Scrooge most unfairly,
Ebenezer did boast
“I’ll do for that ghost
And stew Marley’s bones with some barley!”

Sound good to you? Why not give it a try? Just follow the recipe given below. 

Ingredients:

Marley’s corpse, de-fleshed
4 large onions
2 garlic bulbs
lb carrots
2 lb potatoes
lb pearl barley
4 quarts Virgin Mary stock (if you can’t find a virgin name of Mary you could substitute beef, chicken or pork stock – your choice)

Method:

Peel and chop onions and sweat in a little coconut oil in a large Dutch Oven over an open wood fire until translucent. If you don’t own a Dutch Oven you can use a cauldron, large zinc bucket, or empty oil drum.

Bash garlic bulbs between two large stones and drop into pot to fry lightly with the onions. (Not the stones you idiot!)

Stir in about half the stock and add Marley’s bones. Bring to the boil then reduce heat to a simmer by removing some of the wood from the fire: make sure not to burn your pinkies on the charred bits. Meanwhile peel and chop the carrots and potatoes into one inch cubes (that’s a bit bigger than an adult eyeball), then add to the broth.

Pour in enough of the remaining stock to completely cover the contents of the pot, cover with a tight fitting lid and simmer for 2 hours stirring occasionally while picking your nose and scratching your ass.

Add the pearl barley and stir in the remaining stock with a big stick, cover and simmer for a further hour ensuring the barley doesn’t stick to your bottom.

Fish out the bones and ladle the stew into scooped out gorilla skulls. Serve with sweetbreads (those are bits of guts, NOT bloody croissants or Danish pastries!).

Note:

This excellent dish is best when shared so make sure to invite the town floozy to join you for an evening’s eating, drinking and rampant sex.

cannibal cartoon

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Walkies in the sunshine

Tilly took me for a nice walk along the Wales coastal path between Black Rock and Mathern this morning…

Old Severn Bridge - view from Black Rock

Old Severn Bridge – view from Black Rock

It was all a bit wet and muddy heading off from Black Rock, but that didn’t stop Tilly trotting off to see what she could find. Ever one to explore she wasn’t content to stick to the path at ground level and soon found herself some rocks to climb… Tilly tells me she’s always wanted to be a mountaineer!

Tilly the mountaineer

Tilly the mountaineer

Climbing rocks is all well and good, but when you’re a small dog large rocks can be quite daunting… and once you’re at the top there’s only one way to go… down! :lol:

It's a long way down!

It’s a long way down!

Having overcome the big rock thing, the footpath and surrounding marshland became the next object of fascination for Tilly… especially when it came to flushing the pheasants hiding among the reeds. :roll:

Old Severn Bridge - view from Mathern

Old Severn Bridge – view from Mathern

The coastal path leaves the Severn Estuary and heads inland toward Mathern village crossing the South Wales/Midlands railway line and bypassing Mathern Pill before eventually heading back to the estuary embankment… you get one last good view of the Old Severn Bridge before you leave the embankment though… and doesn’t it still look good in the morning sunshine?

I think we both enjoyed our morning walk today, even if we did get a bit wet and muddy… nothing a drop of warm soapy water and a nice lunch couldn’t cure of course. ;)

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Mole-snagger Tilly

So went walking this morning Tilly and me and guess which demon hunter decided today would be a good day to go mole-snagging? Yep, you have it in one… it was Tilly!

Did Tilly snag a mole?

No.

Did Tilly get dirt up her nose?

Yes.

Did Tilly manage to get her whole head in her hole?

Yes.

Did Tilly get dirt in her eye?

Yes.

Did Tilly get dirt in her ears?

No.

Did Tilly have fun digging her mole-snagging hole?

Definitely!

Who-s-the-man She the dog! 

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Here be Vampires

Since Halloween has rolled around again, bringing its threat of weird kids demanding treats with menace, I thought it fitting to share this image with you.

Protective Garlic Ring

Protective Garlic Ring

Spotted several of these woven garlic strings hanging in odd places while I was on the island of Zakynthos recently… people hung them beside their doors and windows… one place had them hanging from the verandah roof… even the hotel I was in had strings woven into rings hanging from the porch lights beside the main entrance. So of course I had to ask what was for me the obvious question, “What’s with all the hanging garlic? You guys afraid of vampires in the night or what?”

Well dear reader a satisfactory answer was not forthcoming. The guy who worked in the hotel bar told me it was traditional… well I’ve visited the Greek mainland and islands on many occasions and never seen the like before so I didn’t believe a  word of that let me tell you! Yes I have seen garlic hung up to dry before storage on fences, from olive trees and occasionally from overhanging low roofs, but I didn’t think this was what Dionysus meant when he said ‘traditional’. So I’m a bit puzzled, at a bit of a loss for a sensible explanation… perhaps the Zakynthian locals hang garlic around their doors and windows for just this reason… to confuse their tourist visitors. Alternatively, maybe they really believe garlic will keep those nasty Vampires at bay!

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This reminds me

This double fungi reminds me of a Weeble that has fallen over.

Double fungi

Double fungi

See what I mean?

Rotated Fungi

Rotated Fungi

But it can’t be true…

Because as we all know…

Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down! :lol:

 

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Inquisitive mind

Let me ask you a few questions…

  1. Are you inquisitive?
  2. Do you an enquiring mind?
  3. Do your ears prick up at each and every new sound?
  4. Do unusual smells get your juices flowing?

If you answered a resounding ‘yes’ to any/all of the above you may be related to this young lady:

Tilly the inquisitive Dog

Tilly the inquisitive Dog

Of course you’ll need to be on your toes to keep up with an inquisitive Tilly :lol:

heared me a noize... gots to go 'vestigates

heared me a noize… gots to go ‘vestigates

Once on a mission there’s no stopping Tilly!

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Getting the Hell out of Dodge

If I was an actor one of the lines I’d love to say is “I’m getting the Hell out of Dodge!” No particular reason other than Dodge City always looked like one of those places it would be better to leave than arrive in… especially in those old western movies. So anyway I saw this old Dodge truck abandoned in an olive grove while I was walking in Alykes, Zakynthos, early one morning away and couldn’t resist grabbing an image while saying…

I'm getting the Hell out of Dodge in this 1950s Dodge Truck

I’m getting the Hell out of Dodge in this 1950s Dodge Truck

I know, I know, I’m just a sad old fart :roll:

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Old, but still interesting

One of the things I like about some of the larger fungi growing wild in the UK is the way they age, change shape and texture and take on a whole new life…

Ageing Fungi

Ageing Fungi

Just a few weeks ago these were looking fresh, smooth and fleshy… just look at the wonderful way the caps are drying out still on the stalk.

Ageing Fungi

Ageing Fungi

I only wish I could provide you with the texture and smell of these beautiful wood mushrooms.

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